Big & Little

"They aren't twins, are they?"

They are actually!

"Oh really? Fraternal?"

Identical.

"Oh, interesting, one looks bigger than the other"

Yes, they are different sizes.

"Well mama, you've got your hands full. They are precious." 

Thank you :)

..Is usually how the conversation goes at least once an outing. Occasionally, someone mentions how either I need to feed Evangeline more, or they tell her that she needs to eat more, at which point I passive aggressively smile and say, "she's actually a great eater, thank you". :)

The girls hear everything and they understand way more than even I give them credit for. I just cringe walking away from these unfortunate conversations wondering what each of them gathered about themselves from these stranger's observations, and hoping that they were distracted by the bakery section or whatever. For the last 6 months, the girls have been talking a lot about their sizes. In terms of their sense of self, I dare say that it is a/the central thing they are aware of/ can verbalize about themselves, especially in relation to the other. At first it was just, "I am little" or "I am big", but now it has become, "I'm too little for X", and "I'm too big".  It breaks my heart. Both Ryan and I are quick to tell them they are loved & beautiful just the way they are. 

Yes it is true, one is bigger. It is a fine fact, that need not be hidden from them. BUT, it overwhelms and scares me to think of size as THE primary characteristic shaping or defining/confining their young identities. 

I knew immediately that I had my work cut out for me when we were diagnosed with Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome at 18 weeks gestation, as we would have identical girls that were significantly different sizes. Size comparison is hard enough on women who are not related, not to mention identical twins. 

..And so I have braced myself for the beginnings of this battle, and with this blog post am rolling up my mama sleeves, and inviting all the sweet people who love my girls and interact with them regularly if they would be so kind as to help us by being mindful of their words, and how they impact the identities of these developing people. I know ultimately, I cannot control people or protect my children, and I know that every parent has fears and concerns about their children. Our fears are no more significant than anyone else's, I just chose to write a blog post on them. At the end of the day, I rest in God's sovereignty and love for them as they grow, trusting him to provide us with wisdom as we continue to walk through being TTTS parents of identical girls. BUT, I thank you for taking the time to read and consider this invitation, and I am hopeful that even this small step can make some difference. 

thank you and wisdom is welcome.

A & E Turn Three~ Unicorn Style

The girls' birthday might be my favorite day of the year. I loooove to celebrate them. They are both doing great, and we have so much to be thankful for. Audrey loves all things pink, sparkly & girly, and enjoys gymnastics, singing, and performing. Evangeline loves books, snuggling, painting, making Audrey laugh, and problem solving. They have recently made a huge transition to their big girl room upstairs and are doing great up there! Potty training on the other hand, is still in the works…

We had so much fun with our Unicorn theme this year! Our original party was rained out, but we got a beautiful sunny morning today to enjoy the park!

The girls talked about their unicorn party for months! This was taken when they arrived to their party!

We hung some clouds & unicorns from the branches

 We did a little picnic in the park: boxed lunches for the kids with Unicorn horn rainbow lollypops, Unicorn horn funfetti snack mix (with Bugles) served in waffle cones, & Unicorn horn coconut cake.

 Our everyday hero, Mary Elizabeth, hunted down this amazzzzzzing unicorn costume for us and stole the show! She did glitter Unicorn make up, nail polish, and tattoos (check out Love and Lion's easy shop for custom tattoos!)

Unicorn Horn Toss

 We did a magical unicorn hunt to find little neon plastic unicorns (Target dollar bin) and whoever found a gold one got a special prize!

 These girly girls are so much fun. Happy Birthday to our sweet, sassy & sparkly three year olds, we love you more than words! Thanks for checkin in ;)

Check out our birth day, first birthday, and second birthday here!

What's in a name?

  Ryan and I have found naming a human being to be no small task, and our third girl name was not the easiest to come by, but we are equally thrilled to have decided on

Iris Hope Anderson.

 I love the idea of story telling through naming, because I think our family stories are so powerful, beautiful, and valuable. God loves stories. He is the ultimate story teller, the author of each of our individual stories which he perfectly weaves all together into His cosmic story of redemption and restoration. I have found, both through being a client and a therapist, that there are few experiences more powerful than finding acceptance in sharing our stories of brokenness and redemption with each other.

My story is woven into my name, Laura Hope (which is also my mom's middle name), as I was born one year after my older brother Matthew passed away, and my parents saw me as new hope after deep suffering and loss. I never knew Matthew, but his life and death impacted who I have become more than I think I'll ever know. I chose to keep my middle name as I feel that it reminds me of my story, my parents story, my family story, and therefore my children's story.

We are passing the middle name, Hope, down to Iris because of what it represents to me, and also because of her story. Her story began long long ago, but in more recent years her older sisters entered the world through a very traumatic pregnancy and first year, causing me all sort of neuroses:)…no really.

 Iris means rainbow, and she has been such a bright spot after a difficult season. She is a mark God's grace and faithfulness (Gen. 9) to us after a trying few years having TTTS twins in a place far from home & family. Iris is also the Tennessee state flower, a little piece of our homeland. We are so thankful to God for all the ways he has provided for us, but particularly grateful for giving us a healthy and thriving SINGLETON (thank you Jesus) baby girl, and so a name of peace, hope, and rest it is. Thank you for checking in, and thank you to all those who have and do pray for our family!

"Operation Big Girl Room"- complete.

We are now on to "Operation Big Girls SLEEPING in Big Girl Room" :)- in process.

I loved working on this room, not that it's anything special, but I enjoy doing fun kid spaces much more than adult ones. I preferred this to working on the nursery too because I actually know the girls now, so I got to tailor it a bit more. This was a little tough because this room was once an attic space (I think) and it has not been updated in decades, not to mention I had a small budget (for 2 people), but overall, I am satisfied with what I was able to do with DIY, things I already had, giveaways, and clearance items from Target, Ikea, & Overstock.... Ryan may disagree ;).

In typical me fashion, this room can be described in too many ways; modern geo with a touch of rustic..and cloud themes.. I just looved these cloud & sleepy raindrop pillows, and had to incorporate them (tried to tie in poms & dot sheets for "rain"- maybe too much of a stretch:)). All to say, they were $45-$60 on ETSY, and so I decided to make them for free using an old white pillowcase, felt, and batting. I am no master seamstress, I only say that to encourage you that it was not hard at all, and totally worth the DIY!

I pulled out a bunch of these dipped terra cotta pots I did for a shower once, & I thought they kindof worked well in here. The girls love to help me water them, which we do about once every 2 weeks :)- yay succulants!

The Pom wall decor craft that Audrey and I did together

 My "high shelf" with my special vintage books. I just cut up a US map for a little background paper on the shelving.

A small washi tape gallery wall with the girls recent art work. I'll probably hang my, ahem I mean, their, favorite dresses on the ladder. 

Thanks Uncle Troy for making these adorable doll beds that actually look like our real beds!

 Thanks for stoppin by, wish us luck in our next operation, & come over to play in our big girl room ;)

mommy & me wall decor pom craft

Audrey has been waking up from naps before Evangeline, and so I have gotten some special one on one time with her lately. Their big girl room has been my most recent project during nap time, and so she has been my big helper and we had so much fun working on this pom wall decor piece together! This craft is super fun for toddlers, easy, inexpensive, and (in my humble opinion) adorable for big kid rooms!

Materials:
- branch
- ~30 2-3" multicolor poms: I got mine from hobby lobby ($3/bag), but I looove the big wool ones online.

- white yarn & embroidery needle: I considered fishing line too, but yarn provides enough traction for the poms to stay in place.

Instructions:
1) Take your little on a branch hunt outside
2) Let your little choose the poms she likes, and then as you are threading the poms, let her choose the color and number of poms per sequence (if you want to give up that much control:)). Audrey loved getting to make all these decisions, it made her feel so big!

3) Tie a little knot at one end and leave about 5-6" on the other end to tie to the branch
4) Space out your poms and tie each sequence to your branch. Tie one more string to each end and hang your pom decor. Your little one will be so thrilled to display their work in their big kid room!

number three, a he or a she?

Ryan jokes that we are going to change our name to AnderDAUGHTERS. We are thrilled to have had a healthy 20 week sonogram of our third daughter! While I can't help but wonder what a baby boy would have been like, this little one adds such a sweet, joyful, and different dynamic and experience to our family, and I can't wait to get to know her. We are so thankful for our girls!

Big Sisters!

Wanted to let you all know we are thrilled to be expecting a singleton July 2nd! I am so thankful to God to be expecting a singleton. I am currently 17 weeks. At this point in the last pregnancy, I was seeing a specialist once a week, and at week 18 was diagnosed with TTTS. Although I was very nauseous until recently, that has been the worst of it. Baby is growing, and we will hopefully find out the gender soon. I feel so much happier and lighter this time around. I have great hopes that this pregnancy and delivery can be healthy, full term, risk free, and low intervention. Thanks for checkin in!