Tuesday, March 27, 2012

'Absent' Makes the Heart Go...

...Couldn't think of an adjective...

Ryan here...I had a moment so I thought I would give you a brief update on what our day has looked like so far. First of all, thank you so much for all your prayers. Laura and I have been humbled by (and grateful for) the faithfulness of many on our behalf. You've taught us something about praying for people and the goodness of God (namely, that He gives us people to pray for us!). Big ups. Many, many thanks.

Secondly, here are 'the goods' on our time with the doc today (Dr. Papa, if you're reading this, we love ya!). So, Laura went in today and they did another doppler (ultrasound) on her and the girls. Audrey is looking good and Evangeline (the smaller of the two) is looking, well, less-than-good (but still a ton to be grateful for...see below). Evangeline's doppler read the blood going through her cord. Okay medical folks, bear with me on this...But when our hearts are in diastole (read: rest) blood continues to travel through our vessels. This is called 'positive end-diastolic flow'. Sadly, Evangeline's doppler is 'reading' absent end-diastolic flow (Absent EDF). This means that between beats, the blood flow momentarily stops until the heart beats again. (Thanks for indulging my medical sensibilities).

Absent EDF is serious, but when it is viewed in concert with a host of other issues (e.g., weight, fetal activity, amniotic fluid levels, lung function, fetal heart tracings, and general overall coolness...our girls are off the charts on this last one), things become seriously serious. All these other factors look really good right now! Praise God, right!? So, we're grateful for this. In fact, our budding ninja continues to kick Audrey in the 'kisser'.

But, in light of the fact that we don't want things to get worse, we went along with Dr. Papa's counsel to go ahead and admit Laura to the hospital. So, I'm at home eating lunch, and she is dining on the finest fare that Baylor All Saints has to offer. Why is she at the hospital? Well, she is being monitored every day and just taking care of the girls by resting. Just because Laura went to the hospital doesn't mean that she is about to deliver. Rather, after watching her for a while--okay, really Evangeline--there will be a point where being in utero is more of a disadvantage than being ex utero. At that point, they deliver the girls. How long could this be? Great question. There's no way to tell. Could be a few days, but could be longer too. For what it's worth, our Fetal Surgeon--the studly Dr. Ken Moise--mentioned that babies can go several weeks if all other factors are good. So, you can keep praying with that end in mind.

So, we're sad. We're excited. We're scared. We're grateful. We're hopeful. Collectively, I guess we're somewhat of an emotional train wreck. We know our God is good. We know we live in a world where sin is real and brokenness still rears its ugly head. And we believe that God works in ways that we can't even begin to imagine. And for me to utter as to why, well...I'd be silly to try to answer that one. In the end, we know He is for us because of Jesus. And we wait on Him.

Thanks for all your prayers and keep 'em coming. RA


  1. Great update, Ryan. You did a fantastic job sorting through the medical details and putting them into easy to understand terms. Fervently praying the Lord's blessings for you guys, more specifically Psalm 34.

    1. Awesome! Thanks so much, Tricia, for all your help/prayers!

  2. Y'all are always on my heart and in my prayers. I wish there were more I could do.

  3. So thankful and in prayer with you. Thanks for sharing and please send an address to the hospital, where we can send things to Laura.

  4. Ryan (and Laura), thanks for being ...well...real!! Fred and I will continue to lift you both and the girls up to the God Who knitted them together. Or I should say is continuing to knit them together. We love you both and our hearts break, rejoice, and beat with your alls' hearts along this journey!! Blessings in abundance!!

  5. If she delivers April 20th I will be at BAS for clinical in L&D that day!!! SO happy for the update!

  6. praying and praying... thank you for finding the strength to share with us so we can share your joy and pain with you.

  7. Hey Ryan, we haven't spoken since about 1995, but through the power of Facebook I have been following your struggles, and my heart goes out to you and Laura. My wife and I are in a similar position with twin boys about 10 weeks behind you. The doctors are very concerned about the little one and it has been an emotional time for all of us. After just a couple of those tense medical appointments I don't know how we will make it through all of the ones to come. It helps to read about you all working your way through, I can only imagine how hard it has been. Keep telling those girls that a lot of people out here love them and tell them to take their time in there.

  8. GREAT update, Ryan. You are clearly a man of God, a dutiful and loving husband and an awesome sooner or later (we hope and pray for that second one!) daddy to be! I have been praying for Laura and the girls for the last several days, and am honored and pleased to do so. I'm not a smart or knowledgable Christian, I'm not a great bible reader, but I know God, and I accepted Jesus as my savior years ago. I don't have a "recommended" chapter and verse for you. I just know and have faith that God uses all of us in the way that best glorifies Him. For those of us who haven't had the experiences we may have liked, we can be used to help and to pray, and to be connected to others. My twins came 9 weeks early, we've been through NICU and lots of therapy. Not what I had in mind, but my kids will be three in two weeks, and they are AWESOME. As a result of my "not what I had in mind" experience, I have been able to share and fellowship with other moms in my situation, and that has been a blessing. Whatever your journey is, I know God walks with you, and has plans to use you in a way where you will be successful and pleasing to Him. Sending lots of love, care, and prayer!

  9. Laura,
    Sending you, your sweet husband, and two little ladies lots of love and prayers!!!!!

  10. Ryan & Laura & precious baby girls, you are in our prayers! Hospital bed rest is difficult and long and affords way too much time to think about the ups and downs and worry. Praying you can see God with you in each day, in each moment, and leave tomorrow to Him. Oh, that is so hard to do! What blessed daughters you have that so many are calling out to the Lord for them!